I went to the pub after work tonight because I couldn't bear to come home & listen to him snore. Really. I was afraid that the sound of him sleeping (loudly) in MY house in MY bed would push me over the edge if I had to endure it while sober ... so I hit the pub & polished off three Guinness & a shot of Jager before venturing home.

& now I can hear him, but the beers have made it somehow more tolerable.

I sat with friends at the pub & I joked & laughed & chatted with them as well. It was a helluva lot better than coming straight home & sitting on my couch & watching Family Guy DVDs before climbing into bed, NOT having sex & reading myself to sleep while listening to him gargle snot beside me.

I thought we would go together with my family this weekend & get our Xmas tree from the mountain. "As long as I don't have to climb any hills." That's what he says. Fuck him ... I'll go with my family & cut down my own fucking tree.

I am tired & I have to get up early & I have a 12 hour workday tomorrow, but ... I want a life as well.

& he doesn't.

I don't know how much longer I can live like this. The situation needs a drastic overhaul. It makes me sad.

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