He's got worries to match my own. I know that, even if he thinks I don't. I worry I'm stuck with another liar. He worries I'm not understanding. I worry he'll never trust me enough to tell me anything straight. He'd rather bitch to his friends about me ... though I'm sure he never tells them the whole story. So I come out looking like a shit. Why I should care what his friends think, I don't know, but I know they're protective & I know I've got to tread lightly. Mostly I need to learn to say fuck it ... I'm sure they don't know what really goes on. I can't imagine he's completely honest with them either.

Gah! Why do men lie about THE DUMBEST shit?

I don't remember relationships being so difficult.

At least not the communication part of them.

I've always been very good at communicating. & YES, I do consider hollering to be a very effective form of communication if the person on the receiving end doesn't bother to hear over 3/4 of what you have to say to them. I'm not even exaggerating the 3/4 either.

Maybe I'm still bitter over having to pay all the bills for the first few months he was staying here. I don't think so though. I mean, he's got a job & is helping out now ... though sometimes I feel guilty for asking for his share of stuff.

I was so fucking good at being single. This is a challenge. I'm trying to be cordial & not run him off. I promise.

So, I saw Social D & they peeled back the top of my head & dug out the me from fifteen or twenty years ago & made her bounce around like a goober for a whole hour & fifteen minutes.

Yes.

75 minutes is all they played. & I won't even bitch about the SHORTEST SHOW EVER because it was Social D & I had waited a holy long fucking time to bask in the glow of their live performance. However cliche it seems, I cried during Story of my Life, but I was expecting to & it was the last song they played & so I forgave myself for that. So many memories are wrapped up in that one for me. Cheesy as it may seem. It sums up my youth in a nice little package & I just fall in love with it every time I hear it. Live was intense. Beautiful. but intense.

Two days later, James & I went to San Francisco to see The Shins & Viva Voce @ the Warfield. Oh boy, oh boy folks. See the Shins! Do it! Though if you have any bit of ass at all, try not to see them @ the Warfield because they are definitely not ass friendly. I hadn't seen a show there for a few years ... I forgot the bruises my hips would bear from the squeezing old theatre seat sides.

Wonderful show though. Gave me a couple hours worth of that "this is what life is for" feeling that cause the mood around you to shimmer & pulse for at least three days after you experience it. You come across something crappy & then remember that not long ago you saw this amazing band perform amazing songs in front of you & the crappy morphs into not-so-crappy after all.

We enjoyed ourselves.

Even if it is a might spendy to trip down there. We have more coming up as well. Old 97's & the Fillmore this coming Thursday & Bright Eyes, Gillian Welch & Jim James & the Greek in Berkeley on Friday. James is coming for the 97's, but not the Bright Eyes. Going to that with Suki, Davey & Mon. Can't wait for James to see the 97's for the first time. I have so much fun at their shows. They possess my hips & give them the shakes something fierce.

Spent my day in Sacramento, shopping with my sister. Bought some gadgets to aid in the making of my sweet vegan cuppin' cakes. In the morning I'll make some carrot cuppin'cakes w/ vegan cream cheese frosting to take along to work with me in the evening. We're moving around the entire store. Putting all fiction around the perimeter & everything else on gondolas & it's a large move.

Cupcakes will smooth out the grumpies that develop, I'm sure.

:blowing my speakers: Grant-Lee Phillips ~ Last Night I Dreamt that Somebody Loved Me
:feeding my head: Renne Dodd ~ A Cabinet of Wonders
:rotting my brain: Angel Season 5 ... I can't believe it's almost over. I am so sad. Preparing to get my nerd on w/ some comic books.

<< :: >>